My Sunshine
by casfics
Summary: Lily's vivid dreams start to affect her waking life and threaten to thwart the budding relationship she has with Iain. However, as he soon realises, there's more meaning to her dreams than either first imagined.
1. chapter 1

' _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

 _You make me happy, when skies are grey._

 _You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away_.'

Every fibre in her body sobbed with the pain. She was powerless to help him as he laid in her arms. The deep crimson puddle seeped through both layers of clothing - the cotton was saturated. Her skin was stained. The smell was pungent, metallic. It was bitterly unfair. Ugly cries slipped from her parted lips, great and echoing. It was the start of things to come.

Again, more powerfully this time.

 _'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

 _You make me happy, when skies are grey._

 _You'll never know dear, how much I love you.'_

This time it was raspy - desperate. It was his vaguely recognisable as his voice, faltering and fading with every syllable.

' _So please don't take my sunshine away.'_

The quickening pulse ceased under her fingertips, and Lily gasped and sobbed.

Her body shuddered against the cold, damp pavement. The concrete was unaccommodating of her grief. In a second, it transformed. Cotton, fibre, no more hard cold ground. Except, the guttural sobs didn't vanish, in fact, they increased in pace and rose an octave.

Light flooded the room in a second. His eyes met hers, fatigue fast-faded and newly wild with panic.

He was five foot nine of antidote, he knew without speaking, holding her between the safe space that was the panel of his chest and the curve of his arm.

Minutes passed before either dared emerge. She was first, rubbing forcefully at her eyes with a tissue.

'Stop that.' His voice was gentle as he encased his hand around her wrist, holding it down.

Bizarrely, fresh tears brimmed and spilled back down her cheeks. He shook his head, also feeling the hurt rise. A thumb deftly sorted the dampness. 'I'm all ears when you're ready.'

'It's only... g-going to sound silly.' Her chest quivered as she spoke, lungs rummaging for air.

He gulped. 'No it won't. Tell me, Lily.'

'I...' She trembled, searching for words.

He wrapped his arms more tightly around her and cleared his throat, signalling her to continue. The desired effect happened, to his luck. She went on, distracted by his comfort. 'I h-have been having these, nightmares. I have this... this same one a-a few times every week. And it's increasing.'

He nodded, exhaling through pursed lips.

'Right. And what are they about? Maybe it might help to share.' He traced his thumb up and down hers, feeling her relax.

'They are about you.'

'What happens to me, don't say I pop my clogs?' He asked. She chewed her lip, not answering. His face transformed, both horrified and guilty that she'd become upset again.

'Hey, hey.' He soothed. 'You should be so lucky! You're not getting rid of me any time soon.'

'It's just... I don't know what I would do if I... I can't, not again, not after the car. What would I even... I just can't imagine myself getting by without-'

Patience fading, he begun to override her.

'Right, you listen to me. The accident was in the past, it will not happen again, alright? You know that. As for me, don't worry.'

'I-I don't worry when I'm awake! It's just at the time they feel so real - so real. Then I wonder how I'd cope in real life if I'm in pieces. It's like each time I experience it afresh.' She looked anguished, the picture of torment. His chest squeezed.

'Well, you don't need to think about that. How long have they been happening for?' He asked her.

'A while...' She picked at the corner of the duvet.

 _'A while_?' His expression contorted. 'How long is a while?'

'A couple of weeks.' She sighed, exasperated now. 'But it doesn't matter.'

'It does matter.' He replied quietly. 'It does. Because the sheets are soaked and you woke up screaming, Lily.'

'A couple of weeks.' She sniffed, glancing down, noticing he was right. Sure enough, there was a damp patch. Sweat undoubtedly wasn't the only culprit.

'Weeks? Right...' He nodded.

'It's just the song...' She begun.

'The song?' He shook his head.

'No, nothing.' She replied. He tilted his head to one side, giving her a look that communicated his thoughts much better than words could. 'Fine, our song, it features in the dream before you die.'

'Our song...' He prompted, moments before realising this was a huge mistake.

'I can't believe you don't know.' She said.

'Course I know. It's... it's that sunshine one. I was just double checking.' He lied. The panic of the moment had wiped his memory, so much so that a title of a song seemed trivial. Still, he knew how much it meant to her and so he gave her a small encouraging smile.

'It's me, and then it's you, and then, and then...' Her voice wobbled again, but he was quick to comfort.

'Okay, I get the picture.' He felt it appropriate to stop her from working herself up more. 'Lie here,' he gestured to his chest. 'I've got you. I'll stay here till the morning.' His voice was laden with care, and so she didn't doubt this for one second.

The dampness of her skin against his was uncomfortable and chafed in places. A mixture of tears and sweat acted as glue sticking them together. Iain knew that nothing would tempt him to prise them apart. He loved content Lily the most, and he'd what it took to help her into that state. A little bit of physical discomfort felt like a small price to pay.

While she soon relaxed, he was restless with worry and doubt for hours. Thoughts of her being alone in that state made his stomach churn. When you commit to someone, you're there for the highs and lows, he thought. It was a low and it would surely pass with time.


	2. chapter 2

'Morning.' Lily whispered, rolling on to her side and with guilt, instantly noticing the purple rings etched under his eyes. 'Oh, Iain.'

He wriggled, uncomfortable with her sympathy. 'Let's just get up.'

'Did you manage to sleep?' She asked, almost clinically.

'What does that matter? You did - eventually.' He sighed, sounding more irritable than he meant to.

'I'll go home after my shift.' She said.

'Why?' He asked, roughly stripping the sheets.

'So you can sleep, obviously.' She muttered, eyes dropping to the floor.

'Hardly fair.' He sighed, noticing her puzzled expression. 'Well, I've no chance in sleeping if I think you'll be alone like that, have I?'

'It's not fair if you have to wake up with me either.' She replied, standing on.

'Lily, I don't care-'

'I do.' She replied, forehead creasing. She stepped towards him, gently tracing under his eyes with a thumb as if to smooth the shadows away. 'I promise I'll call.'

'But you won't, will you?' His sigh carried round the four walls of the room.

'I said I will, I will. I don't break promises, and not to you.' She said.

'You'd sooner break a promise than ask for help.'

'It might not happen anyway. They tend to happen every few nights. We can't spend every moment together just in case, it isn't practical!'

'Everything's by the book, isn't it, my darling?' The flutter of his lips on her forehead caused her eyes to squeeze closed.

'It's logical, there's nothing wrong with logic. It helps us to get by.'

He turned back to the bed, shaking the duvet vigorously. 'Don't be alone tonight out of the belief you're preserving me in any way, that's all I'm saying.' She nodded quietly in response to his words. 'I get it, if it's because you want the space.' His eyes locked with hers. Even though he could see straight through her, there was nothing he could do - she was too stubborn for her own good.

Ten past eight. Time had run away with itself and they were both late, acting as if they were early with time to spare. He leisurely spooned in cornflakes, watching as she got ready.

'Do not _slurp_.' Lily muttered, not even glancing upwards, continuing to dust powder over her face with a sponge.

'Sorry mother.' He replied, wiping the dribble of milk from under his lip.

'How do I look?' Lily asked, pulling the zip on her skirt.

'Yeah, good. As gorgeous as always.'

'Seriously?' She poked at her eyelashes dubiously in the weak reflection that the microwave screen offered.

'Yes, seriously. Can we go now?' He gave a small shake of the head.

'Hm. You're biased.'

He scoffed. 'Biased? And why would that be?'

'Don't make me say it!' She wagged a finger in his direction. He pretended to cup his ear with a grin. 'No, seriously. I'll blush.'

'Do you mean because I'm in love with you?' His smile widened, eyes unmoving as he watched her react.

'Stop!' She giggled, zipping up her makeup bag.

He chuckled back, checking his watch again. 'Is madam finally ready? Or her lift may well just take off without her.'

'Patience wouldn't hurt.' She scowled, fixing her hair.

He laughed again, tipping the remainders of the milk down the sink and leaving the bowl there. 'Let's go, come on. We're already fifteen minutes late and we've not even set off.' He urged.

'And _I'm_ by the book.' She smiled smugly and lifted her bag over her shoulder.

He rolled his eyes. 'Go on, out, out-' He ushered her out of the door, stepping on her heels in the process.

'Iain!'

'Well, you should've been quicker then!' He retorted, exasperated.

'Ugh!' She shook her head, perfect curls bouncing about her shoulders. He smirked, watching as she made her way to the car. 'To unlock it would be helpful!' She glared.

'Give me chance, woman, good God...'

'You've just been bleating on at me about being late, that is all.'

'I do not bleat.'

He shook his head, face like thunder. It was her turn to giggle then, and he smiled slightly to himself as he heard. It was comical how every interaction was a big song and dance, and how it was acutely intensified by the pressure of something else - often like running late.

'I hope you've got everything, we're not going back.' The wheel did several revolutions under Iain's loose grip.

'Iain, slow down!'

'Are you driving, or...?'

'There's schoolchildren-'

'I'm barely at the speed limit and we're late, unless you have a better suggestion, that is.'

She was silenced yet anxious. The breaks screeched as he pulled them down, inches away from a rather big pigeon that was refusing to budge off the concrete.

'Bloody, stupid bird!' Iain slammed on the horn, furious.

'Calm down.' Lily hissed. 'Don't lose your cool over some animal, can't you see how it looks to pedestrians?' She brought his attention to the people walking down either side of the pavement. Children gawped, while mothers gave dirty looks in the direction of the vehicle. 'Nice one.'

'Why are you so image-conscious? I could've killed that bird, seeing its remains splattered all over the road would've been much more traumatic for them kids than seeing a driver get a bit cross.' He begun to drive again.

'A bit cross?! Road rage, over a bird!' She exclaimed.

'Well it shouldn't have been sat in the middle of the road, should it?' He replied.

The car swerved suddenly as noises of car horns screamed.

'Do you have a death wish today? Watch the road!'

'I'm doing my best! That couldn't have been helped!'

'It could if you were focusing properly.' She retorted.

'You were distracting me!' He exclaimed.

'Tune out the distraction then!'

He gave a sigh and indicated, turning the corner. The hospital soon came into view.

'Right...' He breathed, pulling into the car park. 'I'll see you at some point then. As for later, you're to call me the very second

you get upset. Or even a text, just a letter, and I'll be straight round.'

'I will.' She nodded. At the same time, they both leaned in and their lips crashed a little too clumsily for a goodbye.

Lily pulled away first and his hand flew to his head, scratching, clearly uncomfortable. She giggled slightly.

'Lipstick again.'

With a groan, he pulled down the mirror and tried to scrub it off with a knuckle.

'Lady Danger... 18. Good taste.' With a cheeky nod of approval, she was gone.


	3. chapter 3

Every muscle in Lily's body ached. Whether it was down to the workout, or heels all day, she didn't know. She heaved the kettle back to its stand and collapsed against the cupboard, physically too exhausted to move again. She let out a small, defeated groan. Her chest squeezed, not being able to shake off the constant panic of impending doom. It was so easy to feel like she'd not fulfilled her role to the best of her abilities. What about the paperwork? What about that one patient she'd discharged? What about the one who was referred to the council and put on a waiting list? And the one from the care home? All these people she'd been responsible for.

Still, she managed to shakily lift the mug of tea to her lips. It had formed a layer on the top, congealed. Made and forgotten about. Surprisingly, the lukewarm liquid wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it actually soothed her throat as it passed down.

Her phone lit up, so she squinted to see the display. Without contacts or glasses, it was too blurry for her to make out the letters, but the name was far too long to be his. In fact, it was probably the clinical lead.

She pursed her lips and exhaled slowly, trying not to feel annoyed. He was probably trying to tread carefully or give her space. After all, she had been the one to be so set on going home. Iain wasn't to blame.

-x-

Iain sat in his room, mulling things over. She was so fiercely stubborn, and he wished he'd insisted on her staying a little bit more. Just in case.

He checked his phone. No message. Sighing, he flopped on to his bed. Sleep was calling him and in the absence of anyone else, he knew he had to put himself first. It was about time he did so anyway.

-x-

 _A sea. Beautiful, crystal clear, gentle waves. The piercing blue contrasted sharply with the golden sand. All of it incredibly inviting. Lily stretches out her toes, wriggling them in the sand. She doesn't exactly love the beach, but Iain does. She happily watches from the land as he swims about taking the view in. The whole beach is heaving with people, and to her relief, seemingly heaving with lifeguards too. They patrol along the sand in their red uniform, strolling leisurely yet alert of the water._

 _He calls to her, but it's muffled. She can't quite make it out so she smiles back, the sort of lazy smile that you only give to certain people. He beckons this time, making her giggle. She shakes her head indignantly. He wants her to go in. Under no circumstance will she allow herself to be persuaded, even though it's him. Especially because it's him, actually._

 _Again, this time it's more of a shout._

 _'No!' She finds herself replying. She can't see, but she knows he rolls his eyes as he swims off. She gives a shake of the head and traces a thumb along the soggy brown paper, trying to find the page she was last on. Minutes trickle away as she finds herself more and more engrossed in the story. All distractions are blissfully tuned out. It's relaxing and it's perfect._

 _The clamour of the beach begins to rise, so much so, it's intrusive. She looks up to see what's going on. People - lifeguards - are dashing about the sand. She strains to listen to the couple with a baby on the towel next to her. She's spent hours trying to tune these people out - their child has done nothing but scream - but now she's keen to listen._

 _Heavily accented, but luckily English._

 _A wave. Dozens of people washed out._

 _She looks up, but she already knows. Her lungs burn, legs won't stand up._

 _Iain._

Lily awoke, covered in a thin film of her own sweat. Relief rushed through her veins as all the dread dissolved. She caught her breath, as if she'd just been running. Noticing her throbbing head, she fumbled in the drawer beside her bed and swallowed two paracetamol in one big gulp. Her eyes then fixed on the wall ahead. It was okay. Everything was okay. Better than okay, it was manageable. She hadn't disgraced herself this time, or even been particularly noisy. It was more mild than the last too. With this thought, she settled back down.

 _Back at the beach. Running towards the sea, laughing, smiling. She was noisier than most of the toddlers, but she didn't care. She'd squeal as much as she wanted. There was everything to be happy for._

 _He demands a race, so she swims after him as fast as she can. She's determined not to be beaten. If competitiveness could be scored, he'd be a 9/10 and she'd be an 11/10. He flicks water at her to try and slow down the opponent. It works and she coughs and splutters, stopping briefly to fill her lungs with the air they demand. They can't touch the bottom anymore, not even on tiptoes. He seems to be flailing, but she's not. Triumphant, she calls to him._

 _'Struggling?'_

 _He gives a little gasp as a reply. She takes this as a yes and continues swimming gleefully. It's fallen quiet behind her. She turns round, confusion taking hold. Nobody is behind for miles. Not another boat, or lifeguard, or person, or Iain. No one._

 _Panic constricts her airways again as she dips underwater. The salty water stings her skin. It's beyond panic, it's blind desperation - literally blind desperation. She realises it's silly and futile. Her eyes don't serve her well at the best of times, never mind metres underwater. Bubbles escape her lips as her body fights to breathe. It wants oxygen, but it doesn't understand that she wants him more._

 _Then, she spots him. A dot, floating further and further to the bottom, mouth wide open. Sinking. She wants to scream, but even in her state, she knows better. Her lungs are burning now, a threat that she can't go on. She's gasping somehow, breaking the rules, screaming for him. If she can do it loud enough, he might hear._

She woke up sobbing, uncontrollable fits of shudders that were almost involuntary in their convulsive nature. Heat poured off her cheeks; a mirror didn't need to tell her they were redder than the carpet on her floor. Tendrils of hair clung to her forehead. Her hand scrabbled across the surface of the cabinet, searching for her phone.

In less than two clicks, it was ringing. Once, twice, three times. He answered before the fourth ring.

'It-' She tried to begin, overcome by emotion. The break in her voice caused him to interrupt.

'I'm coming.'

He took the stairs two at a time, trying to bury the panic that kept rising in his chest. Courtesy and manners went out the window, and he barged straight through the door that had, rather conveniently, been put on latch.

Running his hands down his face, he surveyed the flat, not seeing her anywhere. Then she was there. He seized her by the wrist, frantic, accidentally rough. Bodies pressed together, he held her between the folds of his arms. She was always comforted by the balance of strength yet softness he managed to embrace her with. It was her safe place, for she didn't have to say a word. It was her home.

It wouldn't be the right time to say 'told you'. Even so, he felt determined to prevent it happening again. It took him ten minutes to get to her flat - ten minutes of erratic driving (that she would definitely not approve on, despite her state). Those ten minutes had been ten too long.


	4. chapter 4

He hadn't been asked to, but he did it anyway. Placed in front of Lily was a mug and a plate of toast, stacked so high that she couldn't see him standing at the foot of the bed. She was glad, it meant she didn't have to make eye contact.

Unfortunately for her, Iain didn't give up so easily. He sat on the end of the bed, rooted to the spot.

'You don't have to stay.' Lily peeled the ends of the toast off.

'I already cut the crusts off.' He replied with a little eyebrow raise.

'There's still a bit-' She argued, prodding it suspiciously with her nail.

'I took time and care over that, nowt's up with it.' He replied. 'Unless you need feeding, that is. Mm mm.' He picked a piece up, jabbing at her closed lips with it. She winced, but he had the upper hand. If she opened her mouth to protest, it would be in there before the words came out.

'Mmph, stop!' She tried to cover her mouth, but predictably, he got there first.

She chewed, glaring at him. With victory, he grinned for a few seconds before reverting to his state of concern.

'Now are we going to talk?'

'You won't go away until I do, so I suppose it's a yes.' She replied.

'Good, and it's my job.' He reached for her hand, squeezing it in his. 'I'm not pushing you, alright? Take your time, no rush.'

'This time we were on a beach. It was a good dream, nice and sunny. You were larking about, but, what's new?'

He chuckled. 'Anywhere nice?'

'I... I don't know.' She shrugged. 'I never thought of a place, and if I did, I don't remember.'

'Hmm, Corfu?' He suggested.

'Uh, no!' She replied. 'Bora Bora, or somewhere Caribbean.'

'Somewhere fancy?'

'Yes, of course. I only do fancy.' She said.

He laughed again. 'So, what happened?'

'Well...' She nibbled delicately at the toast, swallowed, and looked back at him. 'You were swimming. I wasn't.'

'Of course you weren't, you hate the beach.'

'Precisely, so, I felt it was an accurate dream.' She began to look nervous again.

'Accurate, but for the bad part.' He raised an eyebrow.

'I don't know, I still worry...'

'Right, continue anyway.' He dismissed her, deciding at once to reassure her after he knew the full extent of it.

'So, I was reading, then I looked up and people were running everywhere. There was this massive wave that had swept all the holidaymakers out. I couldn't find you.'

He paused, blood running cold. 'Right...'

'Then I woke up. I didn't think much of it, I stayed calm. Well, calmer than usual. I stayed up a while, then attempted to sleep again.'

'You didn't call me?' Iain asked.

A sigh. 'No, I didn't.'

'Why? I specifically said you were to ring at the slightest-'

'Let me explain. It was fine... I _felt_ fine. I went back to sleep. The dream resumed, which is physiologically unusual. Not a phenomenon, but unusual. We were in the sea, then you were underwater. I couldn't reach you.'

'And then you woke up?' He asked. Alongside recognition, strangely Lily noticed that relief seemed to wash over him. He visibly relaxed, white knuckles from clenching the sheets regaining their pink colour.

'Yes. I... I was quite shaken. In the daylight, it seems minor. It felt very real, so, thank you for coming at such an unsociable hour.'

'Lily...' He pulled her in with one arm. 'We are partners, right? No hour is an unsociable one, not least when it comes to you.'

She gave a weak smile. 'Well, likewise.'

'This probably won't do much in the way of reassuring you, but I feel as if you ought to know.' Something in his eyes had changed, and a strange sensation crawled up Lily's spine.

'I would rather know.'

He opened his mouth, then shut it again. This was repeated a couple of times, in a way that made him look like a goldfish.

'What is it, why are you so lost for words?' She asked, voice hoarse.

'I'm not, I'm just... well. I'm just baffled, that's all. I don't really get it.'

'Get what?'

'That... that _actually_ happened.' He gulped.

She felt her skin tingle with a mixture of confusion and fear. 'What do you mean?'

'I mean, it happened to me. Five years ago.' He repeated himself.

'I don't understand.' She shook her head.

'No, me neither.'

He looked at her, and she looked at him. They stared for what felt like forever, both glazed over.

'I...' Lily tried to begin, but her ability to form speech appeared to be frozen. 'What... when? Where were you?'

'You tell me, you saw it for yourself I gather.' He replied quietly.

'But did I?' She asked, panicked.

'Yes!' Iain snapped without meaning to. 'I'm not going to relive it for either of us.'

Seemingly unaffected, Lily continued. Her brown eyes glittered, both fear and intrigue pooling deep within them. She was gripped by what she thought to be a mystery, and had forgotten to be scared. 'What exactly happened to you?'

'I was on a beach, I got washed out by a wave. The current pulled me under, I came close to drowning. Like your dream.'

'Why were you on a beach? Who were you with?'

His eyes dropped. 'It doesn't matter now.'

'Iain, it matters! Can't you see? This is really strange! Just explain more and we-'

'It's clearly a coincidence, alright?' His eyes darkened. 'I don't want to talk about it.'

'I didn't want to talk about my nightmare, it was scary! I-I relived it, for you!' She was almost pleading him now, voice catching in her throat.

'Well, thank you very much, I guess.' He stood up, brushing his joggers down.

'Iain, please, this is one sided!' Lily's legs unfolded from under her in an instant and she sprung up, clutching his hand.

'Not right now, alright?' He snapped his hand away.

'Then when?!'

'Stop this!' He turned, quickly, away from her.

'I- I don't...' Her voice cracked, the very noise that he hated. 'I don't see why you're angry with me for this, I couldn't control it!'

'Don't you see? I-' He was nearly shouting now, the words tumbling out his mouth in a tone he knew he'd go on to regret. Their eyes locked, and in a second, he mirrored the vulnerability she harboured in his own expression. 'I need to go.'

'Go where? And for how long?'

'Is this 100 questions or what? I don't know.' He sighed with exasperation.

'Just... just...' She searched for words, hurt etched into her face.

He exhaled noisily, running a hand down his face. 'Eat the rest of that. Drink water today. Take care of yourself.'

'This sounds so... so... _final_...' She shook her head.

His face fell. 'No, no. I'll call soon.'

'How soon is soon?' She croaked, not missing a beat.

Plagued with thoughts that circled round in his head, unrelenting, all he could manage was a shrug. 'I don't know.'

'And what happens if I have another-'

'You're going to have to learn to cope with them.'

Lily gave a strangled sort of laugh, hurt. 'You have completely changed your mentality in a heartbeat. If it's just some coincidence, why don't you let it go and stay?' She whispered.

In that second, he hated her. No words could bulk out and unravel what he felt inside. With a quick shake of the head, he barged his way out the door. She dashed after him, taking the steps in the building two at a time. The fluffy slippers encasing her feet didn't cushion the impact of each fall, but it didn't seem to matter.

'I don't understand!' Her voice sounded feeble in the open air.

In one glance, he hoped to communicate a multitude of emotions. A hard swallow, then a hand on the car door handle.

'Me neither.'


	5. chapter 5

She clattered about in the staffroom, refusing to tiptoe around him.

'You're making a right racket Dr Chao, if you don't mind me saying.' Noel raised an eyebrow.

'Hm?' Lily turned round. 'Oh, sorry. I'm just searching for the bourbons. We replenished the biscuit tin only the other day. Have you seen them?'

'No, I'm afraid not. I saw Jez with a stash the other day. Paramedics like 'em. Ask your boyfriend?' Noel replied. Lily greeted this with a slight raise of the eyebrow. 'Or... don't?' He pulled a face and excused himself.

Iain glanced up from his laptop. She caught his eye. It was clearly a deliberate attempt to get some sort of reaction out of him - she knew all too well they were his favourite. It was petty, and they both knew she wanted to talk to him. She wasn't exactly socially adept, so she was taking a minor issue and blowing it up. He fixed his eyes back on the screen with a little frown.

'Have you seen them, Iain?' Lily folded her arms together, leaning against the worktop.

He paused. 'Why are you doing this?'

She didn't miss a beat. 'I wanted something to accompany my tea, and-'

His expression hardened, stony. 'You know what I mean.'

'Hm...' She replied.

'Lily, this is childish. If you want to talk, try asking me.'

Suddenly cold, she turned to him. 'I tried that approach yesterday, it was met with reluctance.'

He sighed heavily. 'Did you dream again?'

'What's it to you?'

'So, you did then.'

'You didn't answer my question.' She argued.

'I care, don't I?' He shrugged.

'I don't know, do you?' She replied.

'Obviously, Lily.' He spat. 'Obviously I care.'

'Until you want to put yourself first, then you stop.'

Hurt flashed in his eyes. 'That's not true.'

'Take the biscuits, for example.' She said.

'What is this, some attempt to outwit me? I am here telling you that I care about you. I'm not flowering it up, you either believe me or you don't.' He retorted.

'I want to, but I am not certain.'

'Right, well when you are-' He begun to make his way out the door.

'If you care so much, why did you leave and not call?'

'Lily...' He ran his hands down his face.

'Why? Do I not deserve an answer?'

'I don't have the answer, do I? I had to clear my head.'

'Clear your head of me?' She asked, eyes round and hurt.

'Of the situation.' He corrected, own eyes matching hers. Guilt permeated through them, and this alone quietened her. It was clear to see he felt as bad in the situation as she did. 'Never of you.'

'Explain to me what happened that day, I want to help.' She whispered.

At that moment, Alicia, Robyn and Louise burst through the door giggling. He pulled a face. 'No privacy.' He whispered, then left out the other door.

'You alright, Lily? You look a bit... off.' Alicia screwed her face up.

'Thanks.' She muttered sarcastically. 'I'm fine, just a little busy.'

'She's right, are you-'

'I'm fine! I-I've got to get on, I'll speak later.' Excusing herself, she left the room into resus. Work felt like a break from break, and it was a feeling she welcomed.

-x-

'So, pint for the lady?' He sidled up to Lily in the car park on the way out.

'I don't drink, Iain.' She reminded him.

'I know, maybe you should.'

She pursed her lips. 'I think I'll pass.'

'Come to mine then?' He offered.

'I have nothing there.' She replied.

'You can wear one of my shirts, and we'll share a toothbrush and stuff.' He replied.

She frowned at him, as if the very idea was completely absurd. 'It's only like kissing!' He argued.

'It's not, there are-'

'If you wanted to talk to me that badly, you'd come over.' He said simply.

'Fine.' She stuffed her hands deeper into the pockets of her coat.

'You say it like you're doing me a favour!' He exclaimed.

'I am.' She replied, expressionless. Knowing he wouldn't win, he groaned. Talking to Lily was like pulling teeth sometimes. Difficult, lengthy, dangerous and at times, painful. The silence was stifling as they walked back to his place.

-x-

'Time to talk?' Lily whispered, gently peeling back the corner of his dressing gown to expose some of his skin. Not enough to make him chilly, but just enough for them to have contact.

'I don't want you to dream about it again.' He gently moved a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear.

'I won't. Besides, you're here.' She flattened her hand against the plane of his chest.

'Okay. So, if I share what happened, you share your dream from last night. Deal?' He asked.

'Mm-hm.' She mumbled.

'Right. Uh, oh god- I don't even know where to start. This would be so much easier with alcohol.'

'You can pretend.' She replied.

'Pretend what?' He scoffed. 'That I've had a drink?'

'I don't know.' She admitted, slightly giggly with fatigue.

He rolled his eyes.

'Do you want it to be story time, or not?'

'Yes!'

'Well can it then.'

'But I-' He interrupted her by holding a finger to her lips. Indignant, she attempted to bash him with the spare cushion until he moved his hand away.

'Right, come on then.' He said, gulping down the lump that had formed in his throat. She resumed the previous position adopted, knowing things were serious.

'I'd gone away with some mates, mates from the army.' He begun.

'Mm.' She prompted, running her fingers through his hair.

'We'd been there a while, a few days maybe. We'd met this guy while we were out there.' Iain gulped, hoping desperately that things weren't going to go the way he thought they might.

'Guy?' Lily frowned, still stroking his hair.

He took her hand away from his head and held it in his. 'I say guy, I mean, he was a lot older than us. We were in Vietnam, so a lot of the tourists were Chinese.'

He glanced up, noticing that she was still very much listening, in fact, intently so. Her face was painted with an expression of ignorance, almost blissful. She had no idea at all, and she hadn't even put the pieces together.

'Lils, where was your dad five years ago? What did he do? Can you remember?' He guided her gently. Despite not being 100% sure, he was sure beyond reasonable doubt.

'Uh, I imagine he was working at the restaurant down south. Wait... no. Uh... five years? The year he died?' She asked, softly. Iain waited, patient. 'That would be my last year of med school. He was travelling with my mother. They visited relatives back in Hong Kong, they went on a cruise. Other than that, they pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth. I had no way of contacting them until my mother rung...' She trailed off. 'Why, anyway?'

'Me and the blokes, we stayed in a hotel. Owners' surname Chao. Thought it was common, didn't really think much of it. No offence or anything, but being in China and all.' He said quietly.

'No no, it's like the equivalent of Smith.' She whispered, thoughtful. 'What was his first name?'

'That's just it, Feng.' Iain looked troubled. 'It was only recently when I heard you say that was your dad's name, then I thought. It hadn't come up in conversation though, so I felt no need to relive everything. If I told you I'd bumped into him, I would've had to tell you the sea story.'

'It-it probably wasn't even him, but... I-I...

What else do you remember?'

'This... this little lady ran it with him. Her name was Li Na. I remember clearly, distinctly.'

'My mother. But he died while he was out there, he didn't own any property.' Lily whispered.

'He didn't die before he bought a hotel and rented the rooms out...' He pulled a face.

'I don't understand,' She shook her head, mystified.

'I don't either, but I tried to work it out last night.'

'What has my father to do with the whole beach thing?' She asked.

'We saw him down the beach. They were there a lot throughout our stay, we were always bumping into them. It wasn't awkward or anything, we'd say hi if we were nearby enough.'

'How odd, what a small world.' She sighed.

'I know, I know.'

'How did you remember his name though? It was only a hotel manager, as far as you were concerned.'

He fell quiet. 'We all got washed out together, your dad included.'

'What?' Lily almost bolted up. He rested a hand on her shoulder, almost in comfort.

'Anyway, we were at the stage where our lungs were burning. Literally fighting to breathe, it was mental. Only three of the five of us were swimming anyway. Me, younger bloke called Dan and then Andy too. We were so out of our depth - literally flailing, trying to swim. The waves were too powerful though.' His eyes had turned glassy as he described the scene. 'Now, your dad. Able swimmer, wasn't he?'

'Uh, I don't know. We never really went to the local baths, or anywhere else fun.' She mumbled with regret.

'He seemed to be fighting the water, if I hadn't been so panicked, I would have been in awe. Then this boat came out of nowhere - a rescue boat. It had a maximum capacity. Obviously, the women and children went first. Your dad then climbed the steps to this boat, I remember it vividly. All the while, Andy and I were really struggling to keep afloat. He was such a confident swimmer, he could've stayed to help and lived. Andy really needed the help, bless him. I saw the hesitance cross his face, then he turned and climbed the stairs anyway. We were left for another twenty minutes. Somehow I managed to tread water and float on my back till the second boat reached us. Andy wasn't so lucky though, neither was Dan. They were dragged out the water. All I could do was look on in... in despair. I felt so helpless, and-and guilty. There was nothing I could've done, but the sight of their limp bodies, shells of the mates I once had, stays with me forever. They were doing CPR, but sometimes you just know.' He whispered.

She squeezed his hand, knowing too well.

'Did they make it?'

'No. Drowning due to secondary suffocation. Lungs filled with water, easier way of putting it.' He explained needlessly, even though he didn't need to.

'That is... awful. I'm so sorry. What about you?'

'I came close, I was in hospital for days. My other mates left the hotel and brought my stuff - they were good. I was glad I didn't have to go back though. Without doubt things would've been different had more people stayed to help.'

Guilt squeezed Lily's insides. Here he was, so bitterly affected, and things could've been so different. It was her dad, and that made her feel even worse. It was, in a strange way, as if she was partly responsible for the loss of his friend just simply by being related to him.

'I'm sorry, my father was a selfish man.' Lily whispered.

'You're not to think like that, he did what any person would do. Put themselves first.'

'But you didn't do that, you could have left your friends.' Lily argued.

He gave a little laugh, more pained than amused, and blinked his eyes closed. 'The thing is, you never do quite know how you'll react in any given scenario until you experience it.'

Her fingertips grazed his collarbone, lightly tracing up and down. 'You're so wise, and brave,' She whispered.

'I'm not pretending to be the righteous one, Lils. My flaws run deep, right? I'm not for one minute slating your dad either. He's only a little detail in the story, but it doesn't make sense without him. That's why I didn't want to tell you - God knows how you could've reacted. That, and it brings back too many memories.'

'I still mean what I said. Being brave is good, but being brave and compassionate is better. You are both. Your friends will have known that you were there until the very end.' She said.

He raised an eyebrow, left without words for a moment. 'Thanks. That really means a lot, you know.'

'No need to thank me. I again apologise for my father.' She said.

'Well, as I said. He was only a small feature.'

'Even so. The perfect example of how a human shouldn't be. I feel like I'm turning into him sometimes, it scares me.' She admitted.

'You are not.' He sighed. 'You're not. I only met the guy once, but he didn't really leave a lasting impression - a positive one, I mean.'

'He died about a week later too, natural causes. You saw him more recently than I did.' Lily mused. He glanced sideways, checking if she was in any way upset. Instead, where sadness should have been etched, a more thoughtful expression sat.

'Perhaps karma at play for letting your friend die.' She suggested quietly.

'Ah, there's no such thing.' He dismissed.

'The world works in funny ways.' She replied, picking at a thread on the fluffy blanket, which was loosely draped over them.

He watched as the cotton unravelled slightly under her thumb. 'Just chance I think. It doesn't seem to affect you though.'

Lily cleared her throat purposefully. 'I cried for weeks.' She told him honestly. 'Then I stopped, just like that. I haven't cried since, not even on the anniversary of his death. It's as if the tears just... dried up. It was around the time I realised I didn't miss the man, just more the gap he was meant to fill. After much thought, I then concluded that I grieved the way that he'd never properly filled _any_ gap for me. The only thing he gave me was my drive. I suppose I can think him for my profession.'

'That makes sense.' Iain nodded. 'What did you dream about last night then?'

'The car.' She replied quietly.

'The car? Oh, sorry - my car?'

'Yeah, except we were driving in it, to work. I told you to slow down and you didn't.' She said.

'I'll drive slowly tomorrow.' He joked, and she just giggled. 'I will. I mean it. If it reassures you. I'll show you that I really can be a sensible driver.'

'How slow is slowly?' She asked.

'Hmm... ten miles per hour?' He suggested.

She laughed at this. 'I don't want to wake up that early.'

'Fine. A good, secure 20. I mean it.' He promised.

'Not 21?' She asked quietly as she nestled down some more.

'No, not 22 either. Or 19. 20. You watch if I don't keep my word.' He said.

'I trust you will, you keep your promises.' Lily replied contently, leaning to flick the switch off.

'Except when I left the other morning. I'm sorry, that was shit of me.' He mumbled.

'It wasn't, darling.' She felt him tense underneath her at the term of endearment that slipped from her lips. It was a first and it did taste funny. 'It wasn't.' She repeated softly.

'I'm glad we've been able to talk.' He said.

'Me too. Let's always talk, even when it's hard to.'

'I feel as if I get you a bit better now.' He whispered in the darkness.

'Hm, likewise.' She gently moved to kiss him. The absence of light made for a very clumsy effort on her part, and her parted lips landed on his jaw.

Both of them paused. 'Steady on.' His voice was suddenly gravelly.

'That wasn't meant for there!' Lily panicked.

He chuckled lightly. 'You say that as if kissing me _anywhere_ other than my lips is the biggest disaster to ever occur.'

'No, well obviously not, it's just I- ugh!'

'No need to get flustered.' He sounded amused.

'I am _not_ flustered.' She protested, hovering inches away from his face.

'Not much! Look, I don't bite. Well, not hard, anyway.'

'You think you're funny.'

'I am, and you think so too.' He said.

'I do not.'

'Why are you here then?' He asked.

'Because...' She begun.

'Because what?' He coaxed, the smile audible in his voice.

'Because I love you.' She sighed.

'Could sound happier to say it.' He commented.

'Now you're pushing it-'

And then, like that, they were kissing again. Neither mind strayed far from the other, but as they drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but hope that the bad dreams were behind them. At least for one night if nothing else.


	6. chapter 6

'Buckle up, Dr Chao, you're in for a right ride.' At this, Lily gave him a scathing look.

'A right ride?' She repeated, dry enthusiasm.

'Yeah, ride of your life.' He repositioned his mirrors before putting the keys into ignition.

She gave a lengthy sigh, provoking a response from him. 'You're such a drama queen. Everything is a big deal.'

'No it is not.' She replied, shaking her head.

'It is, Lily.' He shuffled backwards into the seat, relaxing.

She made a point of checking her watch. 'Whatever, we're late, I'm not in the mood for a game of silly driving or something else ridiculous.'

'No, nothing ridiculous or silly.' Iain said evenly.

Not detecting anything amiss, she gave a contented 'good'.

It took several minutes for her to remember, and she did so with a groan.

'Iain!'

'I promised, didn't I?' He replied.

'I didn't mean painstaking driving, I meant sensible.'

'I said 20, we'll do 20.' He indicated, turning a corner. The cars behind started to grow annoyed.

'If you make me late...'

'Rather late and safe, than dangerous and-'

'Just drive!' She yelled, which made him smirk.

'I have a lady in the car, I'm being courteous-' He protested.

'Pull over.' She said.

'What?'

'Pull over - now!'

Reluctantly, Iain pulled in to a lay by. The cars behind seemed relieved instead of annoyed, as they could continue their journey at an appropriate speed.

'See you at work.' She muttered, reaching down into the footwell to grasp the handle of her bag.

'Where you going?' His expression turned, wild with confusion.

'I'll walk or get the bus, it will be quicker.' She replied.

'Whoa whoa whoa, you can't possibly do- have you lost your mind?' He asked.

She dithered, slender fingers hovering over the seatbelt. 'Are you going to actually drive?'

'Lily, it was a joke.'

'I know it was, but I really need to be at work.' She urged.

'Alright, alright.' He deftly drove back into the steady stream of traffic, picking up pace as they moved down the road.

'Better.' She announced.

'Glad my driving has your seal of approval.' He said.

'You and your remarks really do have no off switch.'

'I'd disagree.'

'Of course you would.' Lily flicked the radio on before he could think of another smart response.

They drove along in silence, filled only by the music of an old pop station.

'Wait a minute...' Iain groaned, as the cars ground to a standstill.

'What?'

'I don't know why we've...' He muttered, before his eyes widened. 'Stopped.' She followed his gaze to beyond the trees in the distance, straight away noticing the billowing plumes of grey. 'Oh Jesus...'

'You need to a U turn.' Lily sprung into action, assertive.

'A U turn?' He spluttered. 'Where, exactly? We're going to have to sit it out.'

'But we'll be late!' She cried.

His expression was filled with disgust. 'If I'd gone at a normal speed, we could've been in that. At least we're alive though, yeah?'

'I didn't mean it like-' Lily sobbed.

'Like what? Course you meant it.' He spat, unbuckling his seatbelt.

'What are you doing?'

'What does it look like I'm doing?' He replied, opening the car door.

'Iain...' She shook her head, eyes glistening dangerously.

'There's no fire crew, no first response, no nothing!' He protested.

'So? You have to wait!'

'I'm a paramedic. You're a doctor. If you had half an ounce of compassion, you'd be coming with me.'

'You are putting yourself in jeopardy!' She pleaded. 'Wait!'

Dithering, his eyes darted from the scene back to Lily. 'I love you.'

Now furious, she wrenched her own car door open.

'Iain!' She yelled, but her voice got lost amongst the roar of traffic. Cursing under her breath, she followed him up the road.

In the midst of the chaos, he noticed her. 'Get back!' He shouted towards her.

'Why should I?' She shouted back. 'You told me to come too.'

'What?' He yelled.

'I said, you told me to!' She almost screamed the words at him before recognition dawned on his face.

'Yeah, before I knew how bad it was! Seriously, go to the car, take the keys.' He tossed them to her.

'What makes you think you're any safer than I am?' She hollered back, indignant. By this point, he couldn't hear her, and didn't make an effort to.

'There's a woman and a baby in this car!' Iain shouted to onlookers, the alarm growing on his face. She felt her stomach sink.

'Can you, can you-' She stuttered, helplessly watching as he scaled the metal.

'I'm trying, I-'

The heat prickled Lily's face, harsh and unrelenting. Then, out of nowhere, a bang. Then, screaming. Her own.

After some time, Lily regained consciousness. At no point had she passed out, but she had switched off. Frozen, numbed. Someone foreign to her had wrapped a tree-trunk arm around her shoulder. It did little in the way of comfort, and served to agitate her more. This firefighter - Daniel, he'd said his name was - had managed to wrap a foil blanket round shoulders too. She hadn't been burned, but she might as well have been.

'He's an idiot.' She muttered, over and over again.

'What's he like?' Daniel asked.

'He's like...' Her teeth chattered as she desperately tried to gather her thoughts. 'Like no one else in the world. He's like validation of all the cheesy movies.'

'He's a hero. Amazing thing he did, managing to throw that baby and woman out.'

Lily thought a while. 'He's always saving people.'

'Yeah?' Daniel asked, as they numbly watched the chaos unfold from behind the tape that cordoned off the area.

'Yeah. Paramedic.' She whispered.

'Ah, he looks the sort. That explains why he dived in there like a maniac. You look smart yourself, if you don't mind me saying.'

'AE Doctor, same hospital.' Lily breathed.

'That so? Workplace relationship, then?' He asked her. She became aware he was only asking to make small talk, to ease the shock if nothing else.

'Mm.' She uttered a non-committal response. 'I should be helping him, I-'

'No, you shouldn't, darling. Leave that to the paramedics. Last thing we want anyone else getting injured. You can go with him though when they've sorted him out. I'll tell you when.'

She just nodded. 'I knew something would happen. I just knew.'


	7. chapter 7

'Idiot.' She hissed, blinking back the tears. 'Idiot, idiot, _idiot_.'

Though used to seeing a multitude of different casualties, including burns victims, nothing could prepare her for the sight of him. Bandages encased his body right up to his ribcage, and somehow that looked worse than the blistered skin. Surprisingly, his arms and his face were affected minimally. His eyes were open, unblinking, fixed on the ceiling. She glanced at the monitors, seeing he was fully conscious, and he was purposefully not speaking. A lump formed in her throat. 'Speak to me, Iain.' The four words that escaped her lips sounded more accusatory than they did a plea.

'And say what?' He muttered.

She made a choking sound. 'Something, a-anything! Just, just-'

'I'm sorry.' He said, flatly. Instead of reassuring him that he didn't need to apologise, she let his words linger and stale in the air.

'After everything, I thought you would have exercised caution.' She whispered, blaming.

He was quiet for a moment. 'And if I had, I wouldn't have reached that woman or that baby. About them, are they-'

'They are fine.' She cut him short. 'Recovering well. The baby has been discharged and a relative has taken him home while the mother recovers.'

'Thank God.' He replied. 'I'd do it again for them.' He locked eyes with her.

'That's all very noble of you, but where would that have left me?' She asked, throat like sandpaper.

He scoffed. 'Can you hear yourself?'

Her eyes closed and she gave a slight shake of the head. 'You could have waited like you were meant to.'

'And let them die? Alright, I get it probably wasn't my most clever of plans. At the moment though, this feels like a rollicking Lily. I'm not even asking for any admiration. Just a tiny bit of understanding and care might be welcome. Believe it or not, I'm not in the habit of entering burning vehicles just for a lark.'

'I am not saying you do, I am saying you need to assess the risks first. You could have died then.'

'But I didn't, did I?'

'But you could have done! It would be wrong of me to sit here and applaud you for your... your bravery when you put yourself in such great danger.'

'You have no humility at all, do you?' He snapped.

'That's not fair.' She said quietly.

'There's a lot of things I don't get about you, but this tops them all! I just-'

'You need to calm down.' Lily intervened coolly, anxious eyes travelling from the monitors back to him.

'You're giving me cause to be angry. What am I supposed to do, sit here and-'

She frowned as he fell quiet, immediately noticing the way his hand flew to his chest in panic. Two hands met and squeezed together. After reaching for the alarm button, she sat back on the edge of her chair.

'You're okay.' She whispered, eyes shining newly. 'You're going to be fine, it's alright-'

Lies, they both knew so. His own face fell at the sight of her tears, despite his state. The grip on her hand tightened, almost as a comfort, before his head rolled back into the pillow.

'Can we get some help in here, please?' She shouted.

-x-

She swallowed two ibuprofen, leaning against the wall in defeat.

'I find chocolate helps.' Out of nowhere, a packet hit her skirt, then hit the floor. She crouched down, picking the object up. Bold, cartoon lettering on a blue background. Its contents, she was sure, were riddled with E-numbers of the worst kind. All the same, she looked up. Max stood there, arms open. Lily hesitated, the sweets hanging limply from her finger and thumb. He didn't wait, stepping forwards and pulling her in. It felt uncomfortable; she knew the porter as a friend, but not on _such_ close terms.

It was as if he knew this, for he relaxed his grip a little. 'Nothing wrong with a hug.'

'Thank you.' She replied, a little stiffly.

Max wasn't Iain, but if she shut her eyes, it almost felt the same. There was no faint scent of cologne, or the comforting soap powder aroma. But, it was comfort. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed it like she needed air to breathe.

After they finally broke apart, Max gave her a small comforting smile. 'He'll be okay. Fighter, isn't he?'

'Yeah.' Lily nodded, running a hand through her hair. A surge of guilt spread through her. It was one hug, a platonic one at that, yet she still felt awful. It was almost as if she'd committed an emotional betrayal, or that was the way it felt. Deep down, she knew there was nothing wrong with it. 'I best go see him anyway. I shouldn't have left.'

'Hey, you're allowed a break.'

'He wouldn't have left me. I feel dreadful, Max.' Again, her vulnerable side was showing its face. Clearly moved by the display of raw emotion, the porter gave a little sigh.

'What good are you to anyone if you're motionless in that chair? Look, he's already bed bound. He won't want you to be there every second.'

'Yes. You are right. Thank you.' She whispered.

'You're welcome, I'm hardly doing anything better.' He gave her a sympathetic look as he exited.

Lily was left standing hopelessly in the corridor. Much though she ached for solitude, she couldn't help but wonder at the power of human spirit and moral support, even displayed by those who are strangers to one another. After a pause, she realised with guilt that Iain had followed the exact same principle. She gave a sigh, feeling the irony was all too sore. Too many coincidences and similarities linked her with the man lying comatose in the next ward. And, with an ache in her chest, she realised that the multitude of differences she had with him only served to intertwine them more.


	8. chapter 8

A month had passed. The nightmares had long since ceased, as if there was a block in her mind. Iain had spent nearly all of the month cooped up in hospital, waiting for test results and scan results and burns to heal and bandages to come off. Eventually though, the only thing to left to show was a few red patches of skin. He was healing, and she felt better.

'How'd you sleep?' Iain emerged from the bedroom, rubbing his face.

'Good morning.' She spun around, feather duster in hand. 'Well, thank you. And you?'

'So so. All the better for being beside you.' He smiled.

'Hmm.' She answered, but he caught a glimpse of her smile as she turned away from him again.

'So, plans for today? He made his way over to her. 'It's just, I wondered if you might be able to free up your schedule in favour of spending a little time...' He moved his lips to her neck, making her flinch slightly. 'Elsewhere.'

'I'm busy, though I might be able to afford you ten minutes.'

'It's a crying shame when you can't even afford your own boyfriend some quality time.' He raised an eyebrow, challenging.

She mirrored his expression with wry amusement. 'Ten minutes. Unless that's a no?'

'Ten minutes is better than no minutes.' He shrugged, lips on hers again. When she didn't reciprocate, he pulled away. 'If you've things on your mind-'

'I'm just- are you better? 100% up for it?' She asked, hands clasped behind his neck, anxious. 'If it's going to hurt, I-'

'I'm fine, really.' He said. 'Better than fine. Plus, you know all the pain-relieving benefits of those chemical things-' His hands slipped under her dressing gown.

'Hormones? Oxytocin, to be precise. I just want to be sure...'

'I'm surer than sure, so you should be too. But, again, if you're busy then I don't mind-'

She thought for a second, then her attention was dizzily brought back to the positioning of his hands. Her lips fluttered against his, once, then again. 'No, never too busy for you.' Then again, and again, and they lost count.

It felt weird, but they both wished it didn't.

Lying there on Lily's chest was a new experience for Iain, and as much as it was for him, it was alien for her too.

'D'you know...' He glanced up, meeting her eyes slightly too suddenly.

She giggled. 'I'm sorry, you just- go on.'

He smiled back. 'I was just thinking, equality and all that's good. Now, I am not a sexist man, but this does feel strange.'

She thought a moment. 'I'm glad you said that, I was thinking the same.'

'As soon as I can have you back, this is where you'll be.' He prodded his chest.

She just nodded. 'I don't mind, it's kind of... nice.'

'It feels too motherly, which is weird.'

'You think? I don't see it that way.' She fiddled with his hair.

'Well, I do.' He took her hand, clasping it. 'For starters, playing with my hair. Doctor or hairdresser?'

'It's nice. I didn't even realise, it's... it's involuntary. I just do it.'

'Hmm.'

'Anyway, you do it to me.' She pointed out.

'But do you like it?' He replied. She didn't answer, smiling slightly. 'See, you do. Calms you down as well.'

'You're more observant than I give you credit for being.'

'Yeah, well. What I was saying, it's just odd.'

'Get up then!' She laughed.

'It's not that odd.'

Lily gave a subtle eye roll. 'So much for ten minutes.'

'You weren't busy, were you?' He asked.

'I could've been.' She argued.

'Could've!' He spluttered. 'But weren't? God, you really are an ice queen, aren't you? What's all this being cold business?' He smirked.

It was her turn to pout then. 'I'm not being cold, I am a busy woman.'

'Thanks for affording me the time then.' He said

'Well, I have my uses.' She sighed slightly, deliberately quiet.

'Eh?! Now I do object. You got just as much out of that as me, in fact, more! Ever thought I'm being the considerate boyfriend here? You've gone weeks without.'

'I might think that...' She mused. 'But only if I didn't know you.'

He jabbed under her ribs, making her squeal. 'Stop! Stop. I need to get up now.' She laughed, gasping when she caught sight of her hair in the mirror.

'And look at what you've done!' She whined sulkily.

He turned, shaking his head. 'Aw, bless, little Lily's hair's all messy and she might need to give it a once over with the straighteners.'

'A five times-over at this rate. God, I'm going to be late.' She groaned, sliding out of bed and leaving him there whilst she rifled through the wardrobe.

'Which one?' She spoke aloud, suddenly statue-like once faced with the choices.

'The dress.' He called.

'Which dress, the black one?' She asked.

'No, purple. Complements your figure.'

She sighed, dithering, before wrenching it off its hanger and shaking the little crinkles out that were threatening to form into creases. 'Shoes, shoes...' She muttered.

'Flats!' Iain called again.

'Flats?' She answered.

'Yeah, plimsolls or pumps or whatever they are.'

Ignoring his advice, she dashed back into the bedroom in heels after ragging a brush through her hair.

'Drink plenty of fluids - water - and don't overdo it. Help yourself to anything you can find here, though I do need to go shopping.' She told him.

He nodded, but his attention was elsewhere. 'Good outfit choice.'

'All with the help of my stylist.' She gave a little shake of the head, letting him know she found him annoying but loved him anyway.

'Honestly, you look beautiful. Thank everyone for my card, and text me later on yeah?' He said warmly.

'Yeah.' She smiled. 'Of course.'

 **Just a short (and sweet) filler. Sorry, I've been super busy trying to choose A levels and colleges this week! Not an easy task. My energy and motivation to write (and do anything else, for that matter) has come in short bursts. Considering laying off my Lily and Iain stories just for now. I have plans for some seasonal one shots though!**

 **As a final note, I have a confession and question for you all.**

 **I am a massive fan of Christmas. I *may* have started writing a Christmas story for this pairing. It's been fun to do and I have lots of ideas for it that I could develop for it. So, my question is as follows:**

 **When should I post it???**

 **Conscious doing it too early may ruin festive feeling a bit, but I want to do it so there's enough time to write a few chapters. Please let me know what you think! I'm very giddy, haha.**

 **PPS: Thank you so much to all of you lovelies who give me support and read my stuff. I know I say it a lot, but I feel like I don't enough! Your comments are really touching and often brighten my day.**

 **Special thanks to Giatrix and TheBeautifulNerd for motivating me to write what I do. Also, the countless guest followers who've left nice messages. I am still updating however slowly. Stay tuned please please please xxx**


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